k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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