Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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