I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
