As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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