Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
