youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
