no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize