please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
