a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
