Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
