I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
