As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
