did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
