I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
