Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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