I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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