hell yes lets make some ravioli
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
