I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize