dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
