i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
