Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
