we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
