the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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