i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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