maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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