Life is so much better after having sex.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
