Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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