come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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