I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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