At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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