Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's shark week go big or go home
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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