if you like me you must not know who I am
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ketchup is God's man juice
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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