it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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