you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize