sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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