she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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