The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
