i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
