dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
