He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
