Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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