Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
