sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
