i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
