One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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