Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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