Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize