Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
