They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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