she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
then he tried to convert me to islam
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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