i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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