btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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