I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
