meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
