Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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