3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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