I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
