Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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