new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize