How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
