He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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